Sunday, September 20, 2015

A Suicide of a YouTuber

Recently, a member of the comedy troupe Cyndago, Daniel Kyre, died of complications after an apparent suicide attempt. The news has obviously devastated all those who knew him.

I, unfortunately, was not familiar enough with the group, only really knowing of them via Markiplier working with them. I went to look over more of the videos of the group after this news came about, and felt this deep sadness in my heart. This young man, barely into his life, has gone. And yet, so long as the videos stay up, he is never truly far.

That's the new world we live in. With the advent of the home video recorder, no longer are memories and photographs the only mementos of those we've lost. Now, with social media, there is this ghostly presence that lingers on, potentially long after we're gone. I hope that it lends some comfort to those left behind after this tragedy.

As a sufferer of depression myself, albeit mild, I did wonder what the world would think of me if they connected my online accounts to me after my death. I wondered if anyone would care if I suddenly vanished from their list of contacts. Often, that's one of the few thoughts left when the time comes to bring it to an end. I know when I've reached there, those were mine. To say that he knows peace now isn't right. His suffering is done, but there will forever be a hole where he was. Even if for only his family, that hole may shrink with time, but it will never, ever go away.

Daniel is not the first online personality to take his own life, as there have been others. But with each light that goes out, the world seems a darker place. If there is a lesson here, it is this: treasure the moments these individuals share with you. They did their best to give to you, an audience they likely never met face to face. They were not rock stars or Hollywood actors, surrounded by opulent wealth and hangers on. They were just like you and me. They picked up a camera, and had the bravery to turn it on themselves. They braved the hatred of a heartless environment to try to bring their vision into being.

To the family and friends of Daniel Kyre, my condolences. I wish someone could have reached him in the dark place his heart went. Depression is a cruel, silent killer, whispering gently in the ear of its victim, compelling them to take that fatal step. It can be so tempting to listen, to end everything, but, as I can attest, it's much better to hold on with every ounce of strength. Tomorrow can really bring something better. I'm heartbroken that Daniel could not, and wish somehow it could be different.

If you are in that dark place, please do me one favour: Reach out one last time. Here are some numbers you can call to speak with experts who can do their best to help you through.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US & Canada): 1 (800) 273-8255
Kids Help Phone (under twenty, Canada): 1 (800) 668-6868
Samaritans (UK): 08457 90 90 90 *
Samaritans (ROI):116 123
Telefonseelsorge (Germany): 0800 111 0 111


Additional numbers can be found here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Even if a group doesn't exist in your area, please reach out to someone, even a stranger. Don't make a permanent choice for a temporary situation.

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